1. |
january (cold hands)
03:11
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2. |
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i am dreaming of blood between my teeth
spitting the blood into the sink
and i don't sleep under the sheets
i am not sure what that means
dying in the living room,
i am dying in the living room
that is not what i'm supposed to do,
dying in the living room
i am in your room standing on your back
daydreamed road trips without a map
searching the cabinets for a snack
it's a crunch bar panic attack
you were starving in your dining room,
we are starving in the dining room,
there is so much we are meant to do
but we are starving in the dining room
sleeping on the bedroom floor,
you are sleeping on the bedroom floor
asking what the bed is for
why are you sleeping on your bedroom floor
dying in the living room
we are all dying in our living rooms
if that does not make sense to you
i don't know know if it is true
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3. |
the month of sisyphus
02:21
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breathe like the water runs in the creek behind your backyard. shallow, still
you don't visit the swing set anymore.
and clammy hands fold in like lawn chairs in the summer, fingernails trying to break through the skin, pleading "speak up"
what good is a word without another
a sticky note on your bathroom mirror
"i love you, i'm sorry"
signed, mom.
move it to the mirror in your room. let it sit there. don't look at it too long.
notice the way the airplanes look like ufo's at night.
joey laughs at the thought of this, but laced inside the sound there is a siren, signaling the danger of what we do not know. the time you asked, "what if home alone was just about a house that was lonely?"
don't think about it too long
or you will begin to realize the absurdity in every single word you've ever said,
a string of words, and
numbers, hyphen, numbers
when you're dead
bring some flowers every few weeks, months, years
let them sit there.
don't look at them too long
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4. |
brooklynn
03:08
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young face, do not be afraid
young face, memories they fade
and the rocks in our shoes
did not seem to bother you
the rocks in our shoes
snow falls in your front yard
and one day we'll fall, too
from i cannot make it that far
to i cannot die this soon
heaviness in your heart
shaking hands, there's more now
a letter, a voicemail, a why, and a how
you were more than enough, you are more than enough now
paint me a picture
you paint it of my dog
paint me a picture
i'll hang it on my wall
tired eyes, do not be afraid
the ache in your stomach, it will go away
more than rocks in your shoes,
i know it's hurting you,
i miss the rocks in our shoes
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5. |
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6. |
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watching other people
watching other people
become each other
turn off the lights
i don't want to see this
too bright for my eyes
and i can hear it
watching as the people
watching as the people
kill off the others
when will i die
and what is after that
it's all too soon and i
i don't want to know that
watching all the people
watching all the people
welcome another
where is the light
it is within us
but who will reach it
if we're all looking some where else
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7. |
you make me happy
02:50
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the way you shook as the phone rang, how you tried and tried but you couldn't answer the call.
a notebook, scribbled words about being alone
the hole in the bathroom door, the way your fingernails dig into your palms.
an "i love you more", a used up lip balm
the absence you write about constantly but have never been able to understand.
napped in the back of my car, held on to both of my hands
the taste of lime and empty roads on sunday mornings.
always cry before sleeping, telling boring stories
the way you repeat words, you say it calms you down.
you will smile until you start to frown
repeat it in your head , you're real you're real you're real.
the words "i love you more than anything on the planet"
how that made me feel.
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five nine three Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
June 2015 - 2017
new music will be posted under the name mary is
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