1. |
everything is scary
03:26
|
|||
|
do not ask me if i am ok
because i will remember i am not, not, not
and a fire will build up in my stomach
and get caught when it rises towards my head
and my brain will be burnt up by the memories trying to wash it clean
i always expect them to be a cool mist, but no matter how pleasant, they are always gasoline
and it burns, burns, burns
your hand across my face
hitting my head on the piano bench,
and this is how you’re supposed to learn, learn, learn
not to make the same mistakes again
but how was i to understand
that love and hatred always come from the same hand
now i’m shaking in my bed,
5am and 2pm it’s all the same sometimes,
a book that you wanted me to read,
i got halfway through and put it down for months
starting all over again
i want to start all over again
but i do not want to erase
any little piece of where i am
but that doesn’t matter and it never will
there are words you will forget for every single page you turn,
that is something you can never change,
it doesn’t matter how much it burns
|
||||
2. |
||||
|
if i live to be old enough to buy a house, i want it to be with you.
i will probably still be emotionally unstable, and you will probably pretend that isn't true.
i will laugh when we are cooking dinner, and i'll sleep the whole night through,
and i will still cry on the bathroom floor, but at least i would have you.
i will eat cereal on our couch and i'll spill milk on my shirt,
and you will sit at a computer and you will quickly type your words.
and we will watch movies, and we might learn what it is to grow up sometime in between,
resting on tired bones, tired eyes on a glowing screen
maybe you'll talk about how fucked up our country is before we go to bed, and i will be politically correct as you eat bread.
i do not know what the future is but it scares me less when i think of you,
i will probably fall apart before i get there anyway, but for now i will pretend that isn't true.
|
||||
3. |
napkin spit
03:01
|
|||
|
one thing i have always known
spitting my food into my napkin when i feel like i am going to choke
standing in the hallway and my hands around my throat
crying in the kitchen at midnight
the apple looked so strange
nothing was right, it just doesn’t seem right
how rapidly my feelings change
i wanna go to bed, i wanna go to bed,
i cannot close my eyes
dizzy in my head, dizzy in my head,
you tell me that i have to try
i’ll have to try for the rest of my life,
if eight year old me knew what we’d be
maybe she would have stopped time,
if sixteen year old me knew anything,
maybe i’d still feel alive
one thing i have always known
spitting my food into my napkin when i feel like i am going to choke
standing in the hallways and my hands around my throat
why, i do not know
|
||||
five nine three Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
June 2015 - 2017
new music will be posted under the name mary is
If you like five nine three, you may also like:
Psychedelic Anxiety
by frances chang
The New York-based artist makes bedroom pop for hitting snooze on your phone’s fourth alarm of the morning.
go to album
Portland shoegaze that plays, as the best representatives of the genre do, with huge, hollow atmosphere against intimate observations.
go to album
Gnarly punk rock from the Philadelphia duo is unhinged in the best way, an in-the-red sonic assault a la Motorhead/Stooges.
go to album
Dobbin's Lost His Coconuts
by Woo
featured on Bandcamp Radio Jan 23, 2024
go to album
Recorded In Gorgeous Lo-Fi
by Woo
featured on Bandcamp Radio Nov 21, 2023
go to album
featured on Bandcamp Radio Oct 17, 2023
go to album
Pressure Sensitive
by Anysia Kym & Jadasea
Brooklyn-based singer Anysia Kym teams up with London-based rapper Jadasea on this eclectic '90s-influenced joint album.
go to album
