1. |
i forgot where i was
02:54
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i am not sure what is real,
surely i am not.
when words meet words and tongues meet tongues,
i am not sure what it all means.
but it gives me grief and it brings me peace.
let me crawl under your mattress, let me suffocate myself
i want to be so close to you that it damages my health.
remember how i crushed your spine, how you acted like you didn't mind
and all these minds they are so interesting, and i am so bored with them
or maybe that's a projection of my boredom with myself.
convince myself that you're all i'll ever see,
but i've never seen anything worth opening my eyes for
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2. |
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i have spent so long breaking off parts of myself
and offering them up
to try and fix people that can't be saved. i reach out as they cave in.
i've watched people rip their skin apart to try and grasp what they can no longer feel.
i see my other self behind the glass and she asks me, is this real?
fragmented,
it's counterfeit,
they'll be gone by tomorrow and if not tomorrow then next week, what'll be gone, what is sorrow? it's beginning at my feet.
and they don't care at all, with voices harsh or soft.
and all the air i tried to take in for them did nothing but throw my balance off.
i think i'd give myself a stronger spine if i had any pieces left to give.
now i'm afraid there is nothing left of me but heavy eyelids and this pain in my ribs.
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3. |
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the floors are a fucking mess and my head is not any better.
she wants to pin it on somebody else but i know i cannot let her.
and with the weight of my insides, it all plummets to my toes.
i've held so many hands and not a single one my own.
so hold me down, as i scream so loud
i swear i'll make the soil wake,
and touch my fingers, we'll hold so still and we will swear we feel the earth shake.
cover me up as i tell you i'm sorry although i am not sure what for.
and no matter what i am, i will always want to be more.
i will consume everything around me and then wonder why i've been left with nothing to eat.
i will desperately look for comfort and reason in every person that i meet.
i will dig through them relentlessly, hoping to find i am not as empty as i think.
and i will love them all, but love them more when they leave.
i'll say i love them all, i'll only feel it when they leave
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five nine three Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
June 2015 - 2017
new music will be posted under the name mary is
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