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i thought maybe i'd die

from how many times will i die in my head? by five nine three

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lyrics

i am extra afraid of death tonight,
and the fragile existence that we all live.
i have died myself a time or two, sometimes in the same room as you.
when the lights were dim,
and my hair pulled back in a ponytail that is so tight around my head,
it makes me lose all of my feeling.
and right now, i feel like i am suffocating,
and the lights are darker than dim tonight.
i want to hold your hand because i am so scared to die,
hold my hand and tell me i will not die tonight,
and although we both know you can't be sure, i think i'll be alright. even if it is a lie, i think i'll be alright.

i hope i dont die tonight but if i do, i loved them all. even though it was hard for me to always feel that and show it. and i hope they feel that and know it with an absolute certainty. and i hope they will remember how flawed i was, but how much i was trying. i hope they will remember how scared i was but how i wanted to be fearless and alive with every piece of me. i hope they will live, not with the absence of me, but with the memories of me and with the hope that more meaning exists beyond those times. i hope there is so much more, i truly do . and i hope that i will belong there, i hope it is less painful than this. but if there is not, and if i do not make it there, i think this was enough. as sad as that is. i think to know and to love and to be, even for the briefest moment , that is enough.

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from how many times will i die in my head?, released October 14, 2015

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five nine three Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

June 2015 - 2017

new music will be posted under the name mary is

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